May 28 2009
LBD - Not the little black dress!
I have been thinking recently about a little thing called LBD.
As I am not sure how many of you know what this horrible affliction is, I shall explain (or at least I shall let Wikipedia explain for me!
“Lesbian bed death is a term invented by University of Washington sociologist Pepper Schwartz in her 1983 book American Couples.[1] According to Schwartz, lesbians have less sex than any other type of couple, and they generally experience less sexual intimacy the longer the relationship lasts. “
Now when I was younger and in previous relationships, I could not fathom such an idea. The whole thing just didn’t compute in my head. What better way to spend your time! Was and still is my general attitude.
It is common knowledge that my sex drive is a little on the high side, to the point that there have been concerns about an addiction on numerous occasions. This is not bragging, It is and has been a major problem.
If I think about it, all my previous relationships ended because of a sexual issue. Be it an argument, not calling or cheating. Unfortunately for all those involved, it was generally the latter. I was a little sh*t for cheating. Some would call me a serial cheat, some would just not get involved. There have only been 2 relationships in my life where I didn’t cheat (bad I know). This is why I think I haven’t given LBD much thought before. I have always avoided it.
Now being married, I would never cheat, I wouldn’t jeopardise my marriage in any way, shape or form, and I definitely wouldn’t hurt my wife. Marriage is taken too lightly by my generation unfortunately, but not by me.
Of course I am naturally concerned by LBD affecting my relationship. I regard sex as a major part of my relationship. I find it difficult to express my feelings in general, but during sex, I can show this in a very powerful way.
I just hope that this isn’t happening to us. And if it is, I am hopeless to a solution.
After a lengthy hurt conversation with my wife a moment ago, I know realise that it only circumstantial what is going on between us. I just wish things could change.
As someone who has been with the same woman for 8 years now I can tell you that there are definite sexual highs and lows. Two women together naturally are going to have sexual issues due to the fact that woman are sexually aroused at different times. I can tell you that I was someone who made sex a major part of my relationship also, and I had to learn to make love a major part. I was equating sex with love and that was causing failure for me. Sex is an added bonus to the LOVE. If you try to focus on this, it will work for you. I wish sex was more often as well, but I have learned that it is not the main actor in our relationship. Since I have learned this, we have become so much closer. Good Luck.
~~~Djfunkyslick
http://afatgay.today.com