LezWife

I feel like i am begining to sound like a broken record.

This mantra going round and round in my head just wont shut up.

This desire i just can’t supress, no matter how hard i try.

The longing that physically hurts.

Every single day a piece of my heart disintregates. The wanting causes this. Followed by a new piece growing from hope alone.

If i tried to picture it, i imagine my heart is not what it is meant to look like. A deformed, mis-shapen heap pumping away.

When i was a kid, i used to love playing with lego. Dad nearly falling down the stairs after standing on a piece every morning eventually got them taken away from me. Bigger chunkier blocks quickly replaced them.

But back to the lego. I would start to build something simple, a house usually with a garage for all the fantastic cars i was going to have. (yes i know, born-a-dyke). I would stand back to admire my hard work and then move a piece to a better place. This whole process would repeat itself until my attention span - or lack of, would get the better of me.

This little building so unlike what it started from. Odd angles, Rises in places that really shouldnt have them. The garage would end up with an upside down ramp. You get the gist.

That is what i imagine my heart to look like now. Very different from what it started life as.

I want, I need, I hope.

Whoever would have thought it! Maybe those regulars i used to serve at the clarry were right, I would want kids someday.

The wife x

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