Dec 17 2008
Determined to refuse
It takes me so long to read a book these days. Every night whilst my wife is softly snoring next to me I try to read. I cant help the urge to sneak a peek. I could spend hours watching her sleep. In those quiet moments i wonder and hope that I am enough.
Wondering that when we have our whole family will i be able to support them financially and emotionally. The latter mostly.
I come from a family that to say the least, are not exactly stable. A violent drug addicted alcoholic father and a mother i barely recall being there. Who would have thought that changing primary schools 14 times would give you amazing social skills?! I have absolutely no memories of our whole family all together at the same time. None! how bad is that!
I am refusing to get into the rest of it. If I ever do, please feel free to slap me. I refuse to pity myself.
The most important thing is this - I refuse to be like my parents.
I will love and care for my kids.
I will listen to them them complain about their homework (then make them do it regardless.)
I will kiss their battered knees when they fall off the skateboards that their mummy didn’t want me to buy, (but I couldn’t resist.) And i will read them bedtime stories galore until they fall asleep in my arms.
I refuse to not be enough!
Just be who you are and that will be enough.
you’ve obviously learned from your parents errors. I think we all do. Giving all the love you have and being present in all that matters will be enough because you ARE enough.
Don’t second guess yourself. I imagine going through all you have, confidence and self-esteem is an issue, but you have to love yourself and believe in who you are and that you are worthy, you are enough.
~Kelly
http://www.30somethingandsearching.today.com/