LezWife

I am sitting here writing my blog amongst what looks like thousands of presents. The hours of work that have gone into our Xmas shopping and were no way near done! There is still all that dastardly wrapping to do (hate it!) Cards to make, greetings to give and smiles to have. And then 2 days later we move! who on earth decided the 27th for our moving date. I cant help but laugh. Everything me and the wife do always ends up happening a hell of a lot quicker than planned. You know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. Yes I  may bitch and moan but who wouldn’t!

Anyway, this is only a quick post as like i said, The sea of never-ending presents must be attended to, and if i havent sellotaped or glued my fingers permanently together, or got myself all tangled in wrapping paper and ribbons, then i shall be back tommorow.

Just in case… Merry Xmas everyone!

Today should be the first day of our second attempt at making a baby. But it’s not. Tommorow we should be trying. But i don’t think it’s going to happen. With moving and Xmas all rolled into a week its pretty manic and proving incredibly difficult for us and our donor to link up. I know Kirst isnt exactly thrilled to say the least, but i am devestated. I didnt want anything to get in the way of us starting our family.

On a lighter note, I have been spending the day going through the thousands and thousandsof songs on our external hard-drive putting together the perfect mp3 mix for my wife when were on the coach to our new home. I was supposed to be doing my own but it takes so bloody long! Speaking of which, i should get back to it!

I woke up this morning with a terrible pain in my abdomen. excruciating. mind numbing pain. It’s still there now and its 9:30pm! No, I did not get beat up last night. No, I did not fall over. The cause of my pain is from, wait for it… laughter! Now don’t start sniggering or you may get hurt yourself!

A jolly dyke outing the occasion was. Too much drink and too much fun by all! So other than being in pain from my stomach, my head felt like my brain was detached and shaking around. As for my stomach, shall we say doing sommersaults is the undestament of the century.

A word of advice for my baby nephew… “Now CJ, you listen to your auntie Tam and promise me that when you grow big, never ever go out and drink lots and lots of Budwieser with you friends.”

Well today, I am taking a break for promoting. I am planning to spend the day with my wife.

It is the anniversary of my granddads death. Kirsty’s nan is really sick and i think we need to do the family thing.

Right this moment i keep getting shouted at. I’m stressed too! I hate writing when Dave is in the room. I always feel like he is sneaking looks. It infuriates me. Plus his inability to breathe through his mouth makes my blood boil.

So i am not in the best of moods. This post is lacking feeling, and i am getting more and more irritated so I’m going to go.

Lets hope the next post is alot better!

It takes me so long to read a book these days. Every night whilst my wife is softly snoring next to me I try to read. I cant help the urge to sneak a peek. I could spend hours watching her sleep. In those quiet moments i wonder and hope that I am enough.

Wondering that when we have our whole family will i be able to support them financially and emotionally. The latter mostly.

I come from a family that to say the least, are not exactly stable. A violent drug addicted alcoholic father and a mother i barely recall being there. Who would have thought that changing primary schools 14 times would give you amazing social skills?!  I have absolutely no memories of our whole family all together at the same time. None! how bad is that!

I am refusing to get into the rest of it. If I ever do, please feel free to slap me. I refuse to pity myself.

The most important thing is this - I refuse to be like my parents.

I will love and care for my kids.

I will listen to them them complain about their homework (then make them do it regardless.)

I will kiss their battered knees when they fall off the skateboards that their mummy didn’t want me to buy, (but I couldn’t resist.) And i will read them bedtime stories galore until they fall asleep in my arms.

I refuse to not be enough!