LezWife

I have been having issues writing for my blog for a while as you all know due to my absence. you see my blogs description is a lesbian wife. Well considering I recently told my wife and a few of those around me, that i am becoming a man- See lesbian doesn’t fit anymore. So i have decided to write my final post today and let the world know. I know that alot of you will not understand, and some may even feel the need to write hateful things. This is not a choice, It is who i am and who i am meant to be.

I would just like to thank all of your kind words of encouragement and for all those readers who have been swearing at me for not writing regularly, I hope it makes sense now.

If you would like a link to my new blog, please feel free to email me at lezwifeblog@gmail.com and i will gladly send it to you when it is all set up.

For the final time….

I have been thinking recently about a little thing called LBD.

As I am not sure how many of you know what this horrible affliction is, I shall explain (or at least I shall let Wikipedia explain for me!

“Lesbian bed death is a term invented by University of Washington sociologist Pepper Schwartz in her 1983 book American Couples.^[1] According to Schwartz, lesbians have less sex than any other type of couple, and they generally experience less sexual intimacy the longer the relationship lasts. “

Now when I was younger and in previous relationships, I could not fathom such an idea. The whole thing just didn’t compute in my head. What better way to spend your time! Was and still is my general attitude.

It is common knowledge that my sex drive is a little on the high side, to the point that there have been concerns about an addiction on numerous occasions. This is not bragging, It is and has been a major problem.

If I think about it, all my previous relationships ended because of a sexual issue. Be it an argument, not calling or cheating. Unfortunately for all those involved, it was generally the latter. I was a little sh*t  for cheating. Some would call me a serial cheat, some would just not get involved. There have only been 2 relationships in my life where I didn’t cheat (bad I know). This is why I think I haven’t given LBD much thought before. I have always avoided it.

Now being married, I would never cheat, I wouldn’t jeopardise my marriage in any way, shape or form, and I definitely wouldn’t hurt my wife. Marriage is taken too lightly by my generation unfortunately, but not by me.

Of course I am naturally concerned by LBD affecting my relationship. I regard sex as a major part of my relationship. I find it difficult to express my feelings in general, but during sex, I can show this in a very powerful way.

I just hope that this isn’t happening to us. And if it is, I am hopeless to a solution.

After a lengthy hurt conversation with my wife a moment ago, I know realise that it only circumstantial what is going on between us. I just wish things could change.

Me and the wife have come to the decision that we are going to stop trying for a baby. We have come to this decision because of our donors lack of commitment. After we decided to stop using him, we sat down and had a long chat about where we were at. It turns out that we both are a bit concerned at our ability to support the baby, that kirstys period issues are getting worse and that she is now more onboard the adoption option. Our new goal is to sort out our life so that we could give a baby the best start in life. Possibly adopt in a few years time if kirstys period issues continue or worsen, and to generally focus on just us for a while. So in hindsight, our donors lack of commitment has been a blessing in disguise.

Right, I have just spent god knows how long writing a post that I have to say, was one of my best, and the bloody laptop just died on me and it hasn’t saved I shall try and recreate some of the magic that just flew out of my finger tips but I hold no hope!

So first and foremost i feel that is most important to apologise to shannonf’s husband. I had no intention of angering you or hurting your feelings. I understand how i may have done so, but believe me when I say this, you have the greatest gift in the entire universe and no dyke on a short-sighted public rant (myself) should make you feel bad. I am truly sorry. This goes for anyone else i may have insulted. You see my problem is i tend to type before I think, an incredibly bad habit that i am trying my hardest to shake.

Like I said, I see now that my rant was a little short-sighted. I did not at the time of writing even consider other peoples feelings on this matter. I understand that the media cannot cater for all needs, that it is bound to upset a few along the way, but i do feel that there is room for improvement. Maybe allowing a few LGBT adverts to creep onto our screens instead of just hushing them up till they find themselves on youtube would placate a little. The idea about the school forms is genius if I say so myself!

Now how about something a little less controversial hmm? The appalling state of Britain’s Finest politicians morals maybe? Stick them all on state benefits for 6 months I reckon, they all sit on their arses and do jack sh*t anyway! (typing before I think somewhat applies here, but then again, it is my opinion)

Wanting a bit of news on the baby front? I am afraid that it just is not happening. Not biological, through choice (if you can call it that.) Me and Kirst have been forced to put it all on hold till our donor gets his act together. When you make a promise to eat right, to stop drinking yourself into an early grave, taking our dreams with you, you generally uphold that promise right? well in our case wrong! We don’t want to give up on our donor just yet but I for one am getting sick of the lack of commitment. If he didnt have a problem with alcohol then why on earth is he unable to stop drinking, lying about drinking and everything that generally goes along with being an alcoholic. As a friend, I am not going to let him kill himself with this most obvious denial, but as a person who needs a part of him to continue with her and her partners dream which he is blatently disregarding because of “boredom,” I am finding it harder to persuade myself to keep positive.

So, how did I do? Another little bit of information for you. It’s our first wedding anniversary in 4 days :-D.

I am sure by now, anybody who reads my blog knows that when i say “tommorow” it means some time in the future when i get a minute. Now for the addition, our new kitten! Any ideas about names people? Answers on the back… A responce to the prick who left the comment, get off your high stool! It doesnt hurt to use the word partner instead of father. Things need to change so that we become equal! More on this “tommorow” when i have calmed down. The wife x